Life

Your Wellbeing May Benefit More From A ‘To-Don’t’ List More Than A ‘To-Do’ One

Amitree

Even with practices generally considered beneficial, adding more and more to your daily schedule can lead to diminishing returns, eventually causing burnout rather than helping you thrive. This paradox is explored through a concept gaining traction in personal development circles: the “to-don’t” list. In essence, it encourages us to identify and eliminate tasks that do not contribute meaningfully to our well-being or goals. By cutting back, we free up time and energy for what truly matters.

ABC News AU’s Emily McGrorey recently shared an experience that resonated with this novel idea. After feeling overwhelmed by her daily commitments, she consulted with her psychologist, expecting to receive advice on adding a meditation practice to her routine. Instead, her psychologist recommended the opposite: a radical reduction of tasks. The advice was simple but surprising—McGrorey was told not to add more but to remove excess activities, creating a “to-don’t” list to alleviate the pressure. In fact, many of her existing habits were labeled unnecessary, contributing to her mental fatigue rather than fostering well-being.

Rachel Botsman, a Trust Fellow at Oxford University, is credited with popularizing the idea of the to-don’t list in professional and personal productivity settings. The basic premise parallels the well-established concept of to-do lists. Just as outlining tasks and goals gives individuals a sense of purpose and direction, deliberately writing down unnecessary activities can provide a crucial sense of relief and mental clarity. For McGrorey, taking the time to list the non-essential tasks cluttering her day helped her realize how much time she was spending on things that could be postponed or discarded altogether.

Amantha Imber, an organizational psychologist and host of the podcast *How I Work*, reinforced this notion in a conversation with McGrorey. According to Imber, there’s an undeniable cultural tendency to keep adding tasks to our to-do lists in the hope of getting ahead. However, this relentless addition of responsibilities can become counterproductive. “Time is finite,” Imber emphasized, noting that constantly chasing more tasks creates a treadmill effect, where you’re running but never really getting ahead.

This sentiment is one many of us can relate to. We’ve all experienced the urge to work through lunch in the hopes of finishing a little earlier, thinking that this might buy us more time for the next task on our list. But as Imber suggests, this cycle is often draining and unsustainable. “Obviously, there are things in life that do drain me, but I have to say yes to them because, as a mother, some things just have to get done,” she explained in her interview with ABC News. “But a lot of the time, when I think about the things that are draining me, they’re things that I can either stop doing or that I can delegate.”

Imber’s words highlight an important point: not every task that fills our schedules is indispensable. Some are simply habits we’ve adopted, thinking they’re essential, when in reality, they could be skipped or passed on to someone else. McGrorey’s to-don’t list is an example of how eliminating these tasks can offer practical relief. Among the tasks she crossed off her daily routine were things like scheduling meetings between 8:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m., a time she realized was better spent on more focused, productive work. Another task she removed? Ironing casual clothes. Instead, she opted for a non-wrinkle tumble dry cycle, a minor change that saved her both time and stress.

Another time-saving adjustment McGrorey made was limiting how often she tackled household chores. Rather than washing dishes or clothes every day, she shifted to doing these tasks every other day. This small but meaningful change freed up more personal time and decreased the pressure she felt to keep up with her previous, overly ambitious routine.

The takeaway from this approach is that while discipline and productivity are important, so too is the recognition that constantly adding to our to-do lists can overwhelm us. The solution lies not in endlessly seeking to accomplish more, but in identifying what can be scaled back, delegated, or eliminated entirely. A to-don’t list, much like a to-do list, can be a powerful tool for achieving balance. It helps us focus on the tasks that truly matter while giving ourselves permission to let go of the rest.

Tags: , ,